Seinfeld vs. Justin Long? Please, let's get someone with some funny.

Can we all agree that Jerry Seinfeld was never the funny one?

For all his quirks and humorous relationships, Jerry was always the straight man to his consistently hilarious compatriots. Good at standup without being great and seemingly averse to ruining his image in movies, Seinfeld got himself a load of cash and has played it safe ever since.

So why does Microsoft think Jerry will be the pitchman to take down those pesky Apple ads that portray Microsoft as old, square and malfunctioning.

Never mind for a minute that Justin Long – who plays the Mac in those commercials – is not funny or cool at all. Never mind that John Hodgman – who portrays the PC – is actually quite hip, at least by hipster standards.

Mind for a minute that Seinfeld isn’t going to fix Microsoft’s woes. Especially if he actually appears in commercials with, get this, Bill Gates, as The Wall Street Journal is reporting.

So who should be Microsoft’s pitchman? Not that he’s much younger, but I suggest long-gone MTV VJ Jesse Camp. Or maybe Ted Nugent. Or, since he already showed Justin Long up, how about John Mayer?

Really, Microsoft should hire anybody who can convincingly look in a camera and say: “Seriously folks, Justin Long is a dweeb. Buy Microsoft.”